The Manual: Erotic Poetry 101


“I’m only 2 inches…….from the floor”

These are the guidelines for writing an erotic poem

So, first and foremost,

You need to seize the interest of the people by saying something unexpected. 

Outrageous enough to make them to sit and listen.

Pretty much like I just did.

Always keep in mind; it’s not a love poem…

However, you do need to flirt, court, cater, intrigue, and have great sex

The benefit is…

you don’t have to call the next day to show that you care.

Proceed on with strengthening your grip on the attention of the listeners

Giving quivers and chills up their spines,

Have their minds think of the first time…that sex was great…

Because the actual first time wasn’t all peaches and cream…

but back to the lecture at hand…

You have to remind them of that high they had,

I doubt if they ever forgot about that very instance

they lost their breath, caught a cramp, toes curled, legs trembled, said

someone’s name, and did all the freaky things they said they

would never do

 They have to enjoy this poem

The same way you enjoy supplying each passionate stroke of the pen or

Whatever instrument you use to cause gyration

Go after the audience’s temptation particularly the female gender…

They’re more inclined to give the reactions of moans and “Ooooo’s”

Shift yourself in a position where your eye contact is intense…

Enabling you to use your tongue as a cleanser,

purifying their skin with goose bumps.

And always remember hickies are tacky.

Make sure you touch all points of interest…

Mind, Body, and Soul…

So you appeal to their spirit while massaging all of their thoughts and

Don’t forget to verbally caress that orifice that they listen through.

Use your mouth as a weapon,

maybe a couple nibbles and bites of body language,

but it all comes down to how well you perform…Orally.

So…if you’re going to suck them into a daze make sure you deep throat and


Now take a pause for the cause…………

This is the awkward moment where everyone is quiet

waiting on you to say something of common sense and intelligence, …

nothing ignorant…

This would that awkward moment went you actually “Put on a condom”?

Next, you manifest an array of taboo terms and phrases that just sound sexual

For instance,

say “I want my apparatus to cause colloquial bliss abundantly until she spontaneously combust…”

You see, nothing sexual at all it just sounds like a couple of phrases that were

printed in the karma sutra…

That should’ve gotten their attention…

But don’t screw the audience by simply showing them you can erect and eject…

You need stamina to sleep inside their minds all night.

They’ll dream of you being some kind of sex toy that they put batteries in

so you could keep going and going and going and going

Now that you are gone…

This is the time you look them in their eyes and tell them a few lies

like, “its all yours”, “you’re the only one”,

or my favorite… “this is my first time ever doing something like this”

The next step is the climax…

that includes grinding of teeth, scratches on the back, short sentences,

unfinished words, sporadic sounds, random cursing, cries of lust, and heavy


Then you pull them close to you and “uuuuggggh…”

You mutually approach an orgasm and conclude by saying one more lie…

”Damn…you’re the best!!!”

If you’re good, they may just say your name over and over again…

Telling their friends how great you were.

Now you have the curiosity that killed the cat and that’s more pussy,

Excuse me, I mean more people to listen

They’re  all going to let you know by a round of applause, high fives, daps, and

You may even get a couple of advances from admirers who want to find out

If what you say is what you do…

Make sure you show your appreciation, as well

tell them you’re glad they were pleased by your performance,

Kiss them gently, and tell them

“Thank you and good night”

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